


Carpe Diem

by Zavijah



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cryptageweek, Fluff, M/M, brief cameos of other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zavijah/pseuds/Zavijah
Summary: Carpe Diem was the motto Elliot had long ago adopted when it came to interacting with Tae. It’d served him well in the past, such as when he’d brazenly stolen a kiss from Tae during an after-match celebration. He’d nearly gotten his nose busted in response, but it had proven to be worth the risk. Now, however, Elliott was regretting his foolishness as a glacier of doubt carved through his gut.Written for #Cryptageweek | 2020 | Day 3: Ring
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	Carpe Diem

“I need time,” Tae said, looking away.

Down on one knee, Elliott didn’t stand, but he did lower his arms that held the open ring box. It’d been a joke. A product of his nerves getting the better of his wits. He wasn’t asking Tae to marry him. The ring was simple, a silver band with delicate wind-like engravings, and was meant to represent a promise. Elliott wanted to go steady. He was loyal, to a fault, and wanted Tae to have a memento to remember, when the dark moods took him as they so often did, that he wasn’t alone, that Elliott would always be there.

 _Always and Forever_ , as the inscription read along the inside of the ring in a gentle, curving script.

Tae stepped back, hands deep in his pockets, and continued to avoid Elliott’s questioning eyes. “Get up — _jebal_ — before someone sees.”

“Right — yeah.”

Elliott awkwardly stood and brushed the alley grim from his knee. He should have waited for the right moment, but Tae’s habit of disappearing — _for weeks_ — without any contact led Elliott to act impulsively. _Carpe Diem_ was the motto he had long ago adopted when it came to interacting with Tae. It’d served him well in the past, such as when he’d brazenly stolen a kiss from Tae during an after-match celebration. He’d nearly gotten his nose busted in response, but it had proven to be worth the risk. Now, however, Elliott was regretting his foolishness as a glacier of doubt carved through his gut.

He hadn’t planned to go down on one knee by the dumpsters behind Paradise Lounge, but he also hadn’t known how to gently broach the topic. So he’d barreled forward, putting all his cards on the table and his foot firmly in his mouth.

The metal hinge creaked as Elliott closed the box. He ran his thumb over the velvet covering, wishing he could go back and redo the whole thing. His heart pattered on, a dull thump echoing in the emptiness expanding in his chest. He should have planned out dinner and kisses and a moment, while entangled in sheets, where he could surreptitiously slide the ring on Tae’s finger while murmuring loving endearments.

Tae’s boots scuffed the ground. “I should go.”

“You just got here.” Elliott’s head snapped up and he rushed to stuff the ring box out of sight. “I’m sorry! Don’t — don’t go. C-can we pretend that I didn’t just — “ _horribly fuck things up_ ” — do that.”

Distress bled from Tae’s posture and it cut into Elliott like a knife. He’d always prided himself on being a source of comfort for Tae. A secret haven, a place where Tae felt safe enough to smile, to lower his guard, and to allow himself to be loved without questioning it. Now it was ruined. Elliott had brought in a noxious weed, thinking it was something beautiful, and let it go to seed. It’d poison the ground and spread and nothing would ever be the same.

“I need to think,” Tae’s tone slipped, wavering with the uncertainty.

Elliott caught his arm before he could flee. “Please — don’t go.”

Anguish and regret etched into Tae’s face as he peeled off Elliott’s fingers. “I’m sorry.”

“ _Please_.”

Elliott didn’t try to stop him second time.

* * *

`”If you love something,  
let it go.  
If it comes back to you,  
it’s yours forever.  
If it doesn’t,  
then it was never meant to be.”`

Pathfinder’s optical lens brightened and whirled as it focused on Elliott. `”Is that the quote you wanted me to find, friend?”`

The child-like naivety in Pathfinder’s synthetic voice butchered the sentiment behind the saying but, Elliott nodded, it sounded like the right one.

Pathfinder tapped his metal hands together in a gentle trio of claps while his chest screen flashed a smiley emoji face. `”Yay!”`

Paradise Lounge was empty save for the two of them cleaning up after closing and locking the doors. Elliott was grateful for the lack of patrons as the MRVN robot did not understand the concept of volume or secrecy. Yet, oddly enough, Pathfinder was the only one Elliott trusted to talk to about the hole eating through his heart like a drop of acid. In vague terms, of course, because Path could only connect two dots in a pre-ordained order and couldn’t read between the lines.

A question mark replaced the emoji face and Pathfinder bobbed his camera-like head to better focus on Elliott’s downcast features. `”What does it mean?”`

The bar was clean, but Elliott began earnestly buffing the surface with a rag. “Kinda obvious, isn’t it?”

The light behind Pathfinder’s lens-face dimmed as his processors analyzed the words, or whatever it was that went on inside the robot’s circuits. Elliott tossed the rag aside and planted his palms on the edge of the bar, waiting for Path’s conclusion. The simpleness in which Path translated complex emotions into was always worth a laugh and Elliott sorely needed something to laugh about.

`”Do you think my Creator let me go because he or she loved me?”`

The hypothetical question startled a chuckle from Elliott. Pathfinder was a one of a kind MRVN. Whoever had altered the robot, giving it an A.I. so frightfully human (if exceedingly childish), had not done so without a passion behind the work. Instead of murder or something equally nefarious, Path had a desire to learn, to make friends, and to fill his life with all the silly things humans valued.

Elliott smiled and said, “Someone loved you, a lot, Path.”

Several pink, pixel hearts floated up Pathfinder’s chest screen. `“That is a wonderful thought.”`

 _Isn’t it?_ Elliott thought to himself later that night as he laid in bed, staring at the ring box perched on the nightstand. He’d let Tae go out of love and every day since he fought off the urge to run into the streets, shouting his name. He wanted, so badly, to find him — to explain away his idiocy and to beg him to stay.

It hurt. Everything hurt. Doing nothing hurt. The continued radio silence hurt. But, most of all, it hurt to hope. The pain was faint during the day, when Elliott kept busy with the bar and his mother’s needs, but at night, alone in bed, staring at the gamble he’d taken and lost, the hope burned through him with dreams of tomorrow being the day Tae returned.

A month passed; he never came back.

* * *

“ _Mirage_.” Renee only called him by his game persona when she was losing patience with him. “The courier is here. You said you were packed.”

“I am!” On his knees, Elliott yelled loud enough to be heard from where he had crammed his head and shoulders under his bed. He shoved aside a box of photographs, a pair of running sneakers, and a sock that had probably lost its mate in a tragic dryer accident. Not finding what he sought, Elliott pulled everything out and tossed it toward the closet.

It wasn’t there. It wasn’t anywhere. Where did it go?

Renee’s shoes appeared on the other side of the bed and Elliott reluctantly sat up to meet her narrowed, pale eyes. It wasn’t a glare, not quite, but her disappointment was clear.

“I can’t find something,” he said before she could ask. “I thought I packed it but I — I — it’s not there.”

She leaned against the door jamb. “It’s just a couple of games. What’s so important that you’re tearing apart your room?”

Elliott dragged the nightstand away from the wall, but the ring was well and truly gone. He’d thought it was in the box but upon opening it, just for a peek, he’d found nothing but emptiness inside. He ran both hands through his hair, then began ripping the blankets and pillows from the bed. The last few days were a blur. Syndicate had called the week prior, telling him to pack up and be ready to head out, and Elliott had stumbled at the thought of coming face to face with Tae. It had sent him on a daring journey to the bottom of every liquor bottle in his cabinet.

Vaguely he recalled pulling the ring out, rolling it between his fingers and — and —

It was gone.

“Are you…” Renee was looking at him oddly. “Crying?”

“It’s dusty under there!”

Elliott pulled the collar of his shirt over his face to wipe away the tears and hide the pained grimace over-riding his control. He’d lost it. Not that it mattered. Tae didn’t want it. Yet Elliott had hoped and hoped and hoped.

“I’m sure whatever you are looking for, it’s somewhere here,” Renee said in a soft tone. “You can look for it when you get back.”

The harsh exhale gusting from Elliott was half a sob. “If it comes back to me, it’s mine forever.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Elliott sucked in several deep breathes before pulling his shirt back down. He smiled, but couldn’t bring himself to meet Renee’s concerned gaze as he brushed past her. He grabbed his duffel from the hall and joined the courier and the crate carrying his holo-tech gear. In the taxi, seated next to Renee, he kept his face turned toward the window and his red-rimmed eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses, and all the while he pretended it was the week long bender that had him teetering on the verge of puking his guts out.

* * *

In the small commissary kitchen, Elliott sat sandwiched between his fellow legends. In a strange way they were friends. Not quite family, but close. Trusting a person to beat you to the brink of death, but not cross the line, or hold a grudge about it, created a bizarre dynamic. Either way, Elliott was grateful for the company and the chatter distracting him from the despair threating to wash over and drown him.

“My fans _loved_ it,” Silva said with gusto, always with gusto. “Like panty dropping loved it. You should have seen my DMs, amigos. Here, I’ll just—”

“Woah!” Makoa waved a hand through the air in a futile attempt to dissuade Silva from over-sharing. “Don’t need to see that, bruddah, I’ll take your word for it.”

“You’re an ass man, right?” Silva grinned as tapped open his phone, bringing up a picture he turned toward Makoa who barely got a hand in between his eyes and the generous nude. Silva wiggled the phone. “Nice, yeah?”

“Put that away, ya damn fool.” Ajay snatched Silva’s phone and, as Elliott watched, started deleting his DMs.

“Chica! No!”

Silva clambered over the table and Elliott barely escaped getting clocked by his metal prosthetic legs as he chased after Ajay. She cackled, twisting and turning from his grabbing hands. Elliott chuckled and took a drink from the water bottle he’d been idly rolling between his hands. Upon turning back around, he sputtered out the mouthful of water upon seeing who had silently claimed Silva’s vacated seat.

Holding a bag of chips, Tae eyed the water Elliott had spit across the table before arching a questioning brow at him.

“Wrong pipe,” Elliott choked out, then coughed into a closed fist before moping his mouth with his shirt collar, then trying to clean the table with his sleeve. All the while his heart screamed at how indifferently Tae looked at him before shifting his attention to watch Silva chase Ajay across the room.

Was that how things were going to be between them?

Act like nothing had happened, as if Tae hadn’t ghosted him for over a month?

Not even a hello?

“I’m beat.” Elliott rose, his heart a bramble of thorns, and skirted toward the door. “I’ll see you fools in the ring tomorrow.”

So consumed by the need to flee, Elliott didn’t notice the footsteps following him until he turned to shut his room door and found himself face to face with an annoyed Tae. Elliott stepped back. _Fuck_. He’d spent a month wishing for Tae to darken his doorway, now he could barely look at him.

Anger bubbled over the hurt, but fizzled out before making it past his lips. After losing so many people in his life, he didn’t want to actively push away one of the few he had left. He attempted a smile, but it wilted at the edges. “Took your damn time.”

Tae scoffed, shut the door, and leaned against it. “You forgot, didn’t you.”

Elliott squinted. “Forgot what?”

Smirking, Tae lifted a hand to nudge one of his necklaces. Elliott’s eyes followed the motion, then he stepped closer to examine the newest addition to Tae’s collection of necklaces and charms. A silver ring, engraved with flowing lines, hung next to the flat charm Tae had once told him belonged to his sister. Elliott’s eyes flew wide and he crowded Tae against the door, the smooth ring tight between his fingers. “What — how — _you thief_ , when did you take this?”

Tae merely smiled. “You gave it to me, idiot.”

“I did _not_ — I mean, I tried to, but you said you needed time!”

Tae closed his hand over Elliott’s, eased the ring free, and brushed a kiss over his knuckles. “I came back.”

“What? When?” Elliott growled and pressed until they were nose to nose. “Don’t lie — I would have remembered you coming back.”

Those dark eyes laughed, as sly and pleased as a fox slipping from a hen house. “You were drunk.”

“I was _not_ — Oh.” The last week came back to him in flashes. Bits and pieces of memories blurred by alcohol. His stomach swooped and belly flopped somewhere around his toes as he distinctly recalled sobbing at the bar to one of his employees. “Yeah. I was drunk. Very, very drunk.”

“ _Very_ drunk,” Tae echoed while curling his arms around Elliott’s neck.

Embarrassed as he was about having been potentially found a sopping mess in his own bar, a surge of joy brightened Elliott’s mood. Something must have gone right, because Tae was there, his slender body slotted against his broader frame in a way Elliott always found to be a perfect fit. Seizing the moment, he pulled Tae into a kiss. It was as brief and dazzling as a firework, broken by Elliott’s giddy smile. He resorted to peppering Tae’s face with smaller kisses.

Tae’s lids drooped, basking in the attention, but the show of smugness brought Elliott’s doting affection to a halt.

“Wait.” Elliott’s brows creased together. “What happened while I was drunk?”

Tae smirked.

//

_”Elliott?”_

_The sound of Tae’s voice shot through Elliott like lightning, burning away his dour mood in a startling flash. He spun around, meaning to rise from the bar stool, but the message got lost on its way down to his legs and he slid off the stool and crumpled to the floor. Even with the new point of view, under the haze of the bar’s dim mood lighting and the tilt-a-whirl effect of too much booze, Elliott recognized Tae at once. It could have been a drunken hallucination, but that didn’t stop Elliott from gesturing broadly at him. “Lookie what the cat dragged in.”_

_Tae’s expression hardened and shifted from the sprawled, drunken heap to the woman standing behind the bar._

_“Don’t look at me,” she said, wiping her hands of Elliott. “He owns the place. I can’t cut him off or call the cops.”_

_“S’a’cute lil mouse,” Elliott beckoned from the floor. “C’mere mousie.”_

_Tae shook his head and his expression smoothed before he crouched down. Elliott grinned, his attempts at subterfuge about as sly as a dog eyeballing a steak, and as soon as Tae was close, he grabbed for him — and missed by a grand mile. Elliott swatted at the air between them, frowning._

_“I am not a mouse.” Tae’s frown sharpened._

_“Mm, right. You’re t’cat.”_

_“Elliott…”_

_“Ornery like a cat, aren’t you? Took your sweet ass time, making me all worried for nothing. I’ve been standing with the damn door open, letting in all the cold air, and you — and you — and now you’re back and you’re mine forever.”_

_Elliott negotiated himself into a sitting position with his back leaning heavily against the leg of the stool. While Tae looked wholly unimpressed, Elliott grinned from one ear to the other. Today was the day. After all those nights he’d spent lying awake, hoping and hoping, his patience had finally paid off._

_“Oh!” With a jerk, Elliott dug into his pocket. The motion dislodged him from the stool and sent him right back to the floor. It didn’t stop his fingers from wiggling deeper, seeking the slender band of silver teasing at his fingertips. “While I’ve got you here, lemme—”_

//

Elliott groaned, “Don’t tell me I proposed again.”

“You did.”

“Oh my god.” Elliott hid behind his hands, the blush flooding into his face hot enough to feel against his palms. “But you said yes this time?”

“No,” Tae huffed. “I said no. Again.”

“But — “ Elliott dropped his hands and pointed at the ring.

“This is not a yes.” Tae curled a protective hand around the ring. “This is — “ he sighed. “We need to talk.”

The signals coming from Tae was like listening to a radio station catching signals of two different songs. A blend of pop and emo and Elliott didn’t know whether to put distance between them in preparation of a forthcoming heart break or pull Tae into a hug and dance the night way.

“I’ll wait,” Elliott said, jumping to dissuade any attempt Tae made to end things out of some piteous idea of Elliott deserving someone better. “This last month was fucking awful, but I’ll wait. I will.”

“ _Witt_ ,” Tae snapped, glaring. His expression didn’t soften until after he’d placed a hand over Elliot’s mouth. “ _I_ need to talk. _You_ need to listen.”

When no muffled protest came forth, Tae’s hand returned to the ring, his thumb idly spinning it with slow turns. Around and around as Elliott’s nerves danced a tango with his bumbling heart.

“I have… “ Tae, normally so sure of his words, appeared to struggle to find the right ones. His eyes narrowed and flicked toward the far wall with an annoyance that wasn’t meant for Elliott. “ _Things_ ,” he settled on with a frown. “Things I have to take care of, things I have already set into motion and need to see through.”

Elliott nodded, eager to get past the great big secret he’d always been curious about but had learned not to poke at with questions.

“But… “ Tae paused, eying Elliott as if expecting him to interrupt and god did Elliott want to finish Tae’s dangling conjunction. “After,” Tae carefully said the word with emphasis and paused, again, and Elliott tempered his impatience with images of shaking the words out of Tae. He waited, jaw clenched, and Tae’s eyes eventually lowered as color darkened his cheeks. “I would like nothing more than — to be — to — “

“You’re killing me,” Elliott gusted out with the breath he’d been holding in. “ _Killing me_. I am going to be dead before you get to the point.”

Tae’s eyes lifted, stormy and beautiful, and Elliott pointedly snapped his teeth together, grinning, but abiding to the silent order to _shut up_.

After a weighed pause, Tae relaxed, though his free hand scrapped irritated fingers along the back of Elliott’s undercut. “I don’t know what will happen in the future. Things could go bad.” The fingers smoothed from peevish claws to soothing pads that stroked down Elliott’s neck. “I don’t want to put you at risk any more than you already are so this — “ The ring glinted faintly as Tae turned it between his fingers. “This is…”

“A promise?” Elliott chimed.

Tae sighed. “A promise, that _after_ — when things settle —”

“I love when you’re so flustered you can’t talk.” Elliott burst while his heart soared.

Another sigh sounded, this one unfurling slowly with an exasperated note of fondness. “I don’t know why I even try with you.”

“Because I’m amazing and patient and perfect and you love me and you’re mine.” The singing joy waned into a loving warmth that spread through Elliott in quiet awe. He saw his silver lining. A hope that glowed like the sunlight just beneath the horizon. The future looked beautiful. Elliott traced the curve of the ring. A promise. He leaned forward, nudging his lips against Tae’s, and murmured, “I love you.”

“Always and Forever?” Tae teased in a whisper.

Elliott kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Very amused we all had similar thoughts about this prompt.


End file.
